🦾 Why Smart Buyers Lie (And How to Handle It)

Hey Insider,

Let's get real.

"We're definitely moving forward next quarter."

"Your proposal looks good, just need to run it by the team."

"Price isn't really an issue for us."

I heard all these statements from a CFO at a mid-market software company. Three weeks later, they ghosted me. Then I saw they'd signed with our competitor. For 30% less than what they told me "wasn't an issue."

I was furious. I felt betrayed. Until I realized something uncomfortable: I had trained that buyer to lie to me.

Every buyer interaction I'd had was subconsciously pushing them to tell me what I wanted to hear, not what was true. I was the problem.

Hard truth:

Smart buyers lie to you because you've made honesty expensive and deception cheap.

After analyzing thousands of sales conversations, the pattern became clear: Buyers don't start out wanting to deceive you. They start lying when they realize telling you the truth creates painful experiences:

• They mention budget concerns, you launch into aggressive ROI justifications

• They express doubts about timeline, you push harder on urgency

• They reveal they're looking at competitors, you immediately trash the competition

You've taught them that honesty triggers discomfort. So they lie to avoid it.

Think you're different?

"But I always tell prospects I want them to be honest with me!"

Words don't matter when your reactions punish honesty. Your body language, tone, and follow-up questions reveal your true agenda.

"I have great relationships with my prospects!"

Comfortable relationships often mask uncomfortable truths. The best relationships can withstand challenging conversations.

The Truth-Surfacing Framework

Here's how top performers create environments where buyers feel safe telling the truth:

1. Reward Negative Information

   • When a buyer shares bad news ("we have budget concerns"), respond with: "I really appreciate you telling me that. Most people avoid these conversations until it's too late."

   • Follow up with curiosity, not solutions: "Can you help me understand more about those concerns?"

   • Demonstrate value in their honesty: "This helps us focus on what really matters for you."

2. Remove the Risk of Truth

   • Explicitly reduce the stakes: "If this isn't the right fit, that's completely okay. I'd rather know that now than waste your time."

   • Give permission statements: "Many companies we talk to are also looking at [Competitor X] and [Competitor Y]. That's completely normal at this stage."

   • Normalize objections: "About 70% of clients raise concerns about [common objection]. Is that something on your mind too?"

3. Reveal Your Truth First

   • Start with vulnerability: "Based on what you've shared, I'm not sure if we're the best fit for [specific need]."

   • Share genuine limitations: "Our solution isn't designed for [specific use case] and you might struggle if that's critical for you."

   • Offer balanced perspective: "While we excel at [strength], companies sometimes find [limitation] challenging when working with us."

Moment of Truth

The most powerful question I've found to uncover buyer deception is this: "If you had to make a decision right now, which way would you be leaning?"

This question creates a psychological bridge to honesty. It doesn't demand commitment but invites current truth. When asked with genuine curiosity (not as a closing tactic), it often reveals what buyers are actually thinking.

The real magic happens when you follow it with: "What would need to change for you to feel completely confident in that decision?"

The Lying Pattern Recognition Guide

Buyers typically lie in predictable patterns. Learn to recognize these common deception signals:

• Vague positivity: "Everything looks good" without specific points of value

• Timeline ambiguity: Inability to articulate concrete next steps

• Decision-maker opacity: Unclear explanations about who's involved and how decisions get made

• Budget deflection: Avoiding direct questions about financial parameters or approval processes

• Sudden communication shifts: Changes in response time, tone, or engagement level

Sales Fit Challenge

This week:

1. Identify your top three "truth-suppressing" behaviors (how you unintentionally punish honesty)

2. In your next three sales conversations, deliberately practice one "truth-surfacing" technique

3. When you spot a potential buyer lie, respond with curiosity instead of pushing harder

Reply with your most surprising "truth-surfacing" moment – I read every response.

The strongest sales muscles aren't the ones that can push buyers into submission. They're the ones that can hold space for uncomfortable truths.