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🦾 The $2M Valentine's Mistake Every "Nice" Salesperson Makes

I lost a $2M deal by being a good spouse. Here's the psychology shift that turned everything around (and saved my marriage)...

Author

Ken Lundin
14 Feb

Hey Insider,

"Your kindness is killing your commission. Here's the counterintuitive fix..."

I lost a seven-figure deal by being a good husband in 2012.

Sounds crazy, right? But if you're constantly getting ghosted by prospects or watching deals slip away, your "nice person" habits might be the hidden culprit.

Here's what happened...

The $2M Dinner Date

Picture this: Valentine's week, 2012.

  • Expensive restaurant ✓

  • Custom dessert ordered ✓

  • Anniversary plans perfect ✓

  • Major deal about to implode ✓

The text came just as I sat down: "Need proposal changes by morning or we're going with someone else."

What I did next cost me $2,000,000.

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The Hidden Pattern Destroying Your Sales

Like most "relationship-focused" salespeople, I brought my best relationship habits to work:

→ Always available

→ Infinitely patient

→ Constantly accommodating

→ Conflict-avoidant

→ Responsibility-taking

Sound familiar?

[These same traits just helped one of our clients close 43% more deals after breaking them. More on that below...]

The Psychology Shift That Changes Everything

Six months later, another seven-figure opportunity landed on my desk.

But this time, I flipped the script. Instead of being the "nice spouse," I became the "respected partner."

The Results?

  • Closed at full price

  • Zero discounting

  • 3-month close versus 6 months

  • CEO became a reference

The Exact Framework:

  1. Set availability boundaries

  2. Created real urgency

  3. Led the timeline

  4. Had tough conversations early

  5. Walked away when needed

Your 10-Minute Power Move

Want the same results?

Start here:

➤ Identify ONE prospect you're being too "nice" with

➤ Write down THREE boundaries you'll set this week

➤ Take ONE bold action today (template below)

[Swipe This Template] "[Prospect Name], I noticed our last three meetings got rescheduled. I have a policy of two reschedules maximum before releasing the time slot. Would you prefer to lock in [specific date/time] or should we pause until timing is better?"

The Valentine's Challenge

This week only: Record yourself handling a tough prospect conversation.

Send it to me directly (just reply to this email), and I'll give you personal feedback on your boundary-setting skills.

But hurry – I only review the first 10 submissions each week.

Win the Day! Ken Lundin

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