🦾 Stop 'Building Relationships' (It's Killing Your Sales)

Learn why relationship-focused selling kills deals and get the exact framework to convert social capital into sales success. Drive real value now.

Author

Ken Lundin
18 Dec

Hey Insider,

"The client really likes working with you," my VP said. "They just didn't think you could handle their growth."

That feedback gutted me. I'd spent six months building the "perfect" relationship with this dream account. Lunches, golf, sporting events - we even knew each other's kids' names.

Then they signed a $500K deal with a competitor who'd known them for two weeks.

“Your clients don't need another friend. They need someone brave enough to drive real value.”

Think You're Different?

Let's do a quick reality check. Do any of these sound familiar?

"I'm playing the long game here." Translation: I'm afraid to push for the deal.

"They're not ready to talk business yet." Translation: I'm not ready to talk business.

"We're still in the relationship-building phase." Translation: I'm hiding in social connections.

The Numbers Don't Lie

Recent data shows:

  • 73% of clients choose the rep who challenged their thinking

  • Top performers spend 40% less time on relationship building

  • Deals close 2.3x faster with value-driven approaches [Data from Sales Benchmark Index, 2023]

Success Story: The Relationship Reset

Meet Tom, a self-proclaimed "relationship seller" who was about to miss his third quarter in a row. His transformation:

Before:

  • 12 lunch meetings per month

  • 3-month average sales cycle

  • $267K average deal size

After Value-First Reset:

  • 4 strategic meetings per month

  • 6-week average sales cycle

  • $482K average deal size

The difference? He stopped hiding behind relationships and started driving value.

“The lack of value development in sales today leads to low closing rate and lower client satisfaction.”

The Value-First Framework

  1. Every Interaction Has Purpose

    • Before: "Just checking in..."

    • After: "Based on our last discussion, I identified three opportunities worth $1.2M..."

  2. Real Relationships Require Risk

    • Before: "What are your thoughts?"

    • After: "Here's where I disagree with your approach..."

  3. The Action Accelerator

    • Before: "Let me know when you want to discuss next steps."

    • After: "Let's schedule the implementation meeting for Thursday at 10."

Emergency Protocol: When You're Too Deep

Already stuck in the friendship zone? Here's your rescue plan:

  1. The Pattern Interrupt "I need to acknowledge something. I haven't been serving you as well as I could..."

  2. The Reset Conversation "I've identified three areas where we're leaving money on the table..."

  3. The Value Bridge "Our relationship is important, AND so is your business success..."

"Be different. Be memorable. Be valuable to your clients."

The Relationship Reset Protocol

Here's your exact action plan:

Day 1-3: Relationship Audit

  • Grade each account (A-F) on business impact

  • Identify social-heavy relationships

  • List avoided conversations

  • Document delayed decisions

Day 4-7: Value Acceleration

  • Convert social meetings to business reviews

  • Present ignored opportunities

  • Push for specific commitments

  • Drive to decisions

The Sales Fit Challenge 💪💼

This week:

  1. List your "friend zone" accounts

  2. Schedule one tough conversation using our script

  3. Convert one social meeting to a business review

  4. Share your breakthrough with #ValueFirst

Your Next 24 Hours

  1. Identify your most "comfortable" client relationship

  2. Draft your pattern interrupt message

  3. Schedule your reset conversation

  4. Prepare your value proposition

Remember: You can have friendship or growth. Rarely both.

Stay Sales Fit!

Win the Day!

Ken Lundin

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